Understanding Relationship Dynamics: How Overworking for Love Affects You
Are You Overworking For LOVE?
Yesterday, I had a light bulb moment with regards to my Point of View.
What I have known for a very long time IS that when you look outside to another person for the very thing you need to give to yourself, you end up attracting and creating intimate relationships that are based on expectation/wounding versus agreements/sovereignty. And you overwork for LOVE.
Having been there and GOT the T-shirt, I have discovered that this way of relating is painful and a thankless uphill climb of codependency and drama.
So, as I contemplated what my old soul creative women seek for out there the answer appeared as
🙏Appreciation
❤️Safety
😑Approval
The challenge of course, is when you innocently misunderstand that you cannot get these things from the other, unfavorable behaviors manifest to repel intimacy, understanding, and harmony.
Exploring Relationship Dynamics: The Path to Sovereignty
Understanding Relationship Dynamics
In any relationship, the dynamics that develop over time play a critical role in determining the health and longevity of the partnership. Understanding the different types of relationship dynamics can support you in recognizing patterns and behaviors that will either support or hinder in your emotional growth and connection.
Emotional Intimacy Issues: Recognizing and Overcoming Challenges
Addressing Emotional Intimacy Issues
Appreciation: When you seek appreciation from the other, you want to feel appreciated so you rescue, overgive, and fix to get it.
The fear behind it is, If I am not needed he will leave.
To avoid the feeling of rejection and anxiety you pay the victim price of manifesting men that need looking after. And a mother/boy role ensues and the sexual chemistry wanes. Instead you miss out on being able to attract and be attracted to men who can stand on their own two feet and who could look after you instead.
Emotional intimacy issues often stem from a fear of intimacy, which can sabotage relationships in subtle but profound ways. These issues can manifest as a reluctance to share personal thoughts and feelings, leading to a lack of deep and meaningful connection within your relationship.
Navigating the Fear of Intimacy: Steps Toward Closer Connections
Confronting the Fear of Intimacy
Safety: You want to feel safe so you hide and apologize for things that are not your fault, to get it. You don't share your truth or desires nor honor them and apologize for what isn't yours.
The fear behind it is If I did express my Truth and Desire, he would reject me, or worse, leave me.
To avoid the feeling of discomfort and fear: you numb yourself and/or you resent or complain to those around you. You apologize for things that are not your fault to make things okay. The fear of intimacy is a common barrier that prevents many women from forming close, meaningful relationships. This fear often originates from past traumas or negative relationship experiences. It is characterized by feelings of vulnerability and a deep-seated anxiety about emotional exposure. Moving beyond this fear is crucial if you want to develop healthy relationship dynamics.
Identifying and Addressing Different Types of Relationship Dynamics
Exploring Different Types of Relationship Dynamics
Exploring different types of relationship dynamics can provide valuable insights into how individuals interact with each other in various settings. From dependent to interdependent and conflictual to collaborative, each dynamic offers unique challenges and opportunities for growth.
3. Approval: You want to feel approved of so you lose yourself by being accommodating and apologizing to get it. You do what they want and sacrifice your values to do so.
The fear IS that I am not enough without his validation. If he doesn't validate my reality, it will just confirm that I am not enough.*
To avoid the feeling of shame and unworthiness: you lose yourself in the relationship and submit to his reality. As you stop listening to your wisdom, and abandon yourself for the other you end up shutting yourself off from Spirit and Life. Leaving you feel disconnected.
The irony is that each time you look to another for Appreciation, Safety, and/or Approval it will be the exact reason why you struggle to share your Truth and Desire with an open heart because of your fear of rejection, conflict, and self-abandon.
You may have even tried to, but it may have come from a place of wounding—passive aggressively, angrily, or from a place of entitlement.
By looking out there, you will still keep perpetuating the same old patterns, and never be satiated, while adding fuel to the flames of projection of blame, shame, and disappointment when your expectations are not met.
And paradoxically, your LOVE, your Truth, and Desire are the very ingredients that you need to attract or create the relationship that's most authentically in alignment with you, if that's what you want.
When you are able to re-parent yourself by giving yourself what you seek out there and keep noticing when you fall out of appreciation and LOVE, being able to discover and honor your heartfelt Truth and Desires becomes a lot easier and in turn will fuel and fan the flames of a healthy and sovereign relationship.
